It could be argued that my life kinda bites right now. Our house got broken into and a ton of our stuff stolen. I’ve done nothing the last two days except talk to insurance agents and file claims. Not only do we have to deal with our bandit damage, our health insurance got way too expensive and now I’m in the middle of getting seven different applications finalized. I got denied for my health insurance, fell and hurt one of my arms, got a parking ticket and that was all before three o’clock today. Oh, and it looks like our tenant from down under (and I don’t mean Australia) kicked in a window on her way out of our house. I’m exhausted, haven’t emotionally processed very much, and I can’t believe this is all happening.
But, oddly, I’m kinda fine. And, not everything is terrible. Even though there is serious speculation out there of what I did in a former life to deserve all this (Jack the Ripper is our current frontrunner), I feel like things are okay, and they are going to continue to be okay. Probably better than okay.
I’m not being Pollyanna right now. I fully admit that things suck, but I have been through enough to know that there are blessings in the storm, good abundantly clear in the gross, and sometimes, yeah, it’s just a matter of looking for it and choosing to hold onto the life vest when the boat is sinking.
So, here’s the good. Woohoo!
We got rid of our evil tenant who fed on making my life miserable and being a horrible wretch. She left without fanfare, without lighting the house on fire, or killing my fish. The window is a small price to pay for getting her OUT of our house. Not only is she gone, someone wonderful replaced her. Even though he can’t pay as much as we would like, he is the kind of person I want in my home. He called me last night, and with tears in his voice told me what a blessing I am to him and his family. He believes that God sent the house to him just when he needed it most and he will do anything to say thank you. I just about dropped the phone and laughed with Greg a few minutes later about how, in 24 hours, I went from being a you-know-what from you-know-where who didn’t have the right to own a home to being a blessing from heaven. I think I like that! And, I’m so thankful for a good tenant. Huge sigh of relief.
Jake’s feeding therapy appointment, and the next huge step in his treatment is tomorrow. Because of all the stress and huge to do list, I have had exactly one second to worry about it. Which, if you know me well, is pretty huge. My whole attitude about it right now is that we’ll deal with it and we’ll move on. I’m really not that bothered by it.
Besides not sleeping well for the first part of the night after the break-in, I’ve been sleeping well and even been able to take a few naps. I’m bone tired by the end of the day, but that is just a product of how intense things are right now. I’m totally over the flu and strep and I haven’t had a flare up in two weeks. I’m beyond thankful for that since stress triggers my flare ups. Another big “woohoo!”.
I’ve gotten a ton of encouragement in the form of prayers, hilarious suggestions of how to maim the bandits, appropriately timed swears, phone calls, messages and new friendships are even forming. I love how well people step up in the middle of a crisis, big or small. I feel very loved, supported, encouraged, and I have been laughing. A lot.
I have practice with life’s crap. It does get easier to handle. Falling into crisis mode is, for better or worse, a natural position and we handle it well. This latest round of weirds feels less daunting and more “okay” although this is the first time some other being has done something malicious to us and our possessions. This has cemented the refrain from Job that I love: “God gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord”.
In the past, the thing I’ve struggled with the most is my faith. I question, cry, rant, throw tantrums, and moan at God. To be very honest, I’ve done a little of that, mostly in the form of “Really, God? Are you serious?”. I do think God is cool with being yelled at, but the yelling has been minimal. I so strongly feel God’s presence and His comfort. Instead of feeling afraid that the bandits may come back and do some real damage, I have had an overwhelming sense that, as a friend put it, I am God’s bad-ass and God and I will handle whatever is coming, even if it does mean I have to break a few bones (hopefully not mine). I feel brave, strong and like I can handle what’s coming by God’s grace and provision. Verse after verse and song after song have popped up to encourage me, but today, the one that got me was the following refrain:
” There’s a raging sea right in front of me, wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees. So let the waters rise, if You want them to. I will follow You.”
The whole song is amazing and exactly what I’m feeling right now. Listen to it. Do it! Right now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIkQ7YVys_A I LOVE the determination coupled with surrender. It’s amazing.
Well, I feel encouraged. Peaceful and sleepy, too. Which is a very, very good thing.