If you see the title of this blog post, you are probably thinking that I’m a little odd for writing an entire post on the waiting process of moving to California.
I haven’t gotten to the point of posting about silly things (I hope) and even though we’ve just announced our move, there is an entire novel in the moving saga that has already been written and put up on the shelf.
A while ago, I wrote about how much I hate waiting. https://sistertwo.wordpress.com/2010/11/09/shut-up-and-wait/ It was painful, stressful, frustrating, and annoying. Keep in mind that I’m not usually waiting for things like a trip to Disneyland. Waiting for me involves blood tests and whether or not my house was burned to the ground.
The tricky thing about believing in God, especially the God of the Bible, is that I get to do what He tells me to. He tells us to do things, or not do things, to keep us out of trouble and to make us not be jerks to be around. We don’t get to pick and choose what things we like and what things we don’t, so when He tells me that I need to wait patiently, I don’t get to throw a temper tantrum every time I have to wait for something. Even if that something is a sock in the gut.
The good news is that after I wrote the blog I mentioned above, I have gotten WAY better about waiting. I’ve gotten more patient, less frustrated, less angry, more peaceful, and a whole lot more curious as to what is going to happen rather than dreading the outcome.
How does this apply to moving?
I only announced our move in public about a month ago. Talks about this job for Greg started a little over a year ago, but it wasn’t the right time for us to go. In October, we were 24 hours from going on the trip I’m currently packing to go on now.
Greg works for a world-wide company and there are major benefits to working for such a large company. One of those benefits is that the people in charge seriously look after the best interest of the entire company, not just one part. Just before our October trip, it became obvious that Greg staying in Colorado a little longer was needed for the well-being of the entire company.
Please don’t think that when I heard the news I spun about and burst into song like a freaking Disney princess. I didn’t. I sat there, quite stunned, cancelled a myriad of plans and then went to a fairly dark and quiet place for about a week. I ate chinese food, didn’t go running, and watched a whole bunch of Dr Who, sorta longing for the whoosh of the Tardis in my living room.
I always give myself permission to grieve an announcement like that rather than dance about and sing songs. I have found it is way healthier to be sad, stunned, angry, etc., and to work through it rather than squash it all and find myself sobbing on the freeway because someone cut me off a few months later.
For the next two months, we lived in what Terry Pratchett calls the wrong pant leg of the Trousers of Time. We felt like we were supposed to be somewhere else, doing something else, and that reality didn’t quite fit. I would be going about my usual business and have a sudden “I’m not supposed to be here” feeling wash over me. It was a very weird thing. As a horrible joke, my weather.com browser had set Lodi’s weather next to Colorado Springs weather, so every time I opened up the forecast, I got to see how lovely and warm it was in the town we should have been getting used to.
I could go on and on about this particular aspect of the story, but even though we were still in Colorado, all signs pointed to Lodi. I had never even heard of Lodi, but every time I mentioned it, another person told me a great story about living/vacationing/driving through Lodi. I talked to wonderful and warm people who were helping me sort out the whens and ifs of the move. The job that Greg had been offered was amazingly held for him and he was given assurances that it would be waiting for him when he could go. Although, we spent a month wondering what was happening, we felt sorta kinda certain that we were still headed to California.
It may sound odd, but I’m thankful I’ve had another opportunity to put my waiting skills to the test. It’s encouraging to find that I’ve grown. That I am not the same tantrum-y little girl I was a few years ago. That I have become a better woman and more able to be who God wants me to be even when it’s a little dark outside.
While I’m not praying for more opportunities to grow in this particular area, I’m no longer afraid of waiting. That feels fantastic!